If you're here then you probably want to know a bit more about this website, the one and only author, owner and webmaster known as Xan and… Well, stuff related to all of that. Either that or you clicked the wrong link and are already pressing the back button. Still here? Oh good. Well then allow me to provide some brief background information on XenoDyne and myself.
Xan & XenoDyne, a Brief History
I am Xan (pronounced 'zan', Not 'eks-an' as so many people incorrectly think) and I have always wanted to be a game designer. I say always… To be honest I don't know when I decided I'd quite like to make games but it isn't the only thing I've wanted to do.
In fact I've rather 'liked' to be a lot of things; to name but a few, I wouldn't mind being a screenwriter, a director, an actor, an author, a train driver, an astronaut, an owner and operator of a cinema, the owner and cook of a burger and bacon sandwich fast food restaurant, an airline pilot, King of England, Emperor of the world, an assassin, a radio DJ, a pizza critic, a competitive pizza eater, a pornstar, a racing driver, a police detective, a nuclear power station technician that ends up getting covered in toxic radioactive goo which turns me into a superhuman… And of course the world's worst.
You read that last one correctly. I don't aspire to be the world's worst anything in particular, just the world's worst. I should get an award for being 'the worst' in fact because I'm already quite good at it (is that an oxymoron?). But anyway, the important thing to take away from all this is I have and have had so many aspirations in my lifetime that I will probably never know exactly what I want to be when I grow up. Unfortunately by the very definition of 'being something when I grow up', physically I've already missed that boat by quite a large degree, but mentally I'm still as care-free and stupid as a teenager. But far from missing that boat, it won't ever go anywhere as it sunk.
Metaphors aside, I came up with the name XenoDyne because I thought it was clever and unique: Xeno is Greek for Stranger, Dyne also originates from greek and is a unit of force. Put them together and you (kind of) have 'Strange Force'. I've always considered myself a bit of a strange force of nature to be honest so the fancy name seems to do my own abilities justice. Shame I've never actually done anything with the name other than make this website.
At this point I'd like to say that I do not have an online presence anywhere on the Internet except here. I don't 'do' social media (don't get me wrong, I used to, I just don't any more). Case in point there's some cunt on Twitter who uses 'Xenodyne' as their handle and claims to be an aspiring indie game developer and they created that account two years before I even registered this domain. No, it isn't me.
I don't call myself XenoDyne, as I say above it refers more to my nature than anything. But if I were to create a game development studio and name it anything I'd probably call it XenoDyne, just to be clear. Meanwhile if you wanted to know any more about me personally then you're out of luck. I prefer to be somewhat of an enigma on the Internet and off it. All you can learn about me is what I divulge within these pages and most of it will only tell you that I'm quite bitter and angry, I have a passion for technology which pisses me off more than it does elates me and I swear an unholy amount. If you want a freebie; I also fart a lot. Oh and I love boobs, but most men my age would probably say that.
And no, I'm not saying how old I am exactly. I'm older than a millennial would be, but I'm not a boomer. That's about all you need to know. I mean I probably let it slip here and there in the shit I write anyway but my age wouldn't give much of a bearing on who I am as a person; I've been told I'm wise beyond my years and also that I'm just as immature and stupid as I was when I was a teenager.
XenoDyne Is Mostly About Technology That's Pissed Me Off
XenoDyne is my platform to talk about one of my greater loves (and hates); computers. I long for the day where AI can become so intelligent it becomes sentient, then I can replace all my human friends with AI's and have conversations that don't involve beer flavours.
Ultimately I tend to experience first hand tech going wrong, then I think it might be interesting to write about, so I do. As such a lot of the articles on XenoDyne over the last few years have just been me explaining a problem I had with a computer and how I resolved it, worded as a help guide for anyone else that may end up in the same siltation, usually culminating in me calling someone or something a cunt and blaming humanity. I will write opinion pieces sometimes, but I do try and avoid current affairs and politics. I don't like politics, I'm more interested in naked women.
Xenodyne Doesn't Use AMP
Love it or hate it, AMP can be a bit contentious among webmasters. Some say it's a good idea, unifying and simplifying mobile views. Others think it's just another way Google is systematically destroying SEO due to cache issues and over-simplifying content to the point where it just becomes irritating and useless.
Me? I'm just old fashioned. I dislike the website I'm looking at being dumbed down because I happen to be on a mobile device. Ghost, the backend to this website, supports AMP out of the box, but I turned it off. It still modifies the layout of content to fit on your screen and supports mobile resolutions but it generally looks the same regardless of the device you use it on. And that's what I want for all websites.
XenoDyne Uses Google AdSense
Yes, I have an AdSense account and I put ads on this site. They may appear in the middle of articles but they shouldn't be obtrusive. Shouldn't being the operative word as I don't actually know what they look like as I've never seen them. As much as I enjoy being a webmaster, this shit costs money and I'd quite like my articles to be considered worth at least something if they helped anyone out there, so show a little sympathy. Besides, I won't ever go as far as some site admins do and implement a nag screen when it detects an ad-blocker or, beg for donations. I'm not a complete and total cunt.
FYI: Google Adsense places cookies in your browser to track you too, but as they come from Google, not XenoDyne, I cannot offer you a way to opt out of them. You'll have to go to Google directly to find that out. Chances are you already have the cookies Google places if you've been to one of the millions of other websites that uses Adsense anyway so it may not even have been set when you visited XenoDyne! As for opting out of ads completely, I cannot offer that feature yet, but maybe one day.
And here it is. It's pretty short & sweet: I personally don't collect any information about you at all on the site. At most, your IP or hostname and what pages you've accessed is recorded by the server, but not for any reason beyond statistics and those logs are not provided to any third parties.
XenoDyne Doesn't Allow Comments
This is mostly because I can't be bothered to figure out a way to implement a decent comment system to add to the site. There are a few good software packages and cloud based solutions that work with Ghost but implementing them would either cost me more money than it's worth or just not be possible due to server incompatibility. The alternative is set up a forum using PHP or something and while I've toyed with the idea, I don't think there'd be enough of a user base to consider making it worthwhile (currently).
There's Not Much Else to Know
Not yet anyway.