Life, finds a way… To get in the way.

So I did finally get everything sorted on here after the change of CMS I used. It had no native importation method for Ghost though, so I had to port over every article manually, and all but one or two, which really weren't interesting or useful anymore, got imported. I even added some cover images to older articles that were actually from before I even started using Ghost, just to jazz them up a bit.

The only thing I'm not entirely happy with is the theme, since oddly it seems most themes available for Bludit lack a dark mode switch, which has started to become commonplace for more popular CMS systems like Ghost or Wordpress. This theme I'm using is similar to the one I used with Ghost but it's clearly lacking some components that are there by default in other themes making it rather basic in nature, so I may have to end up making my own theme for the site. I'm not looking forward to that but needs must, however for now though this one will do (and it might have to last a long while).

Anyway, that about sums it all up for now. I did actually write this follow-up article to the previous article a few weeks ago, and the previous article was also a bit longer. I doubt anyone saw the additional few sentences I'd written before I deleted them, or the new article I made afterwards detailing why I deleted them (which evidently I also ended up deleting). But I have, to some extent, regretted not leaving that content up for all to see.

The long version is that essentially, I'd spent a long time sorting the site out, it had taken me weeks on and off arranging everything but then I spent almost an entire day importing it all, formatting it properly and getting it all looking nice. This took it out of me, as I mentioned at the end of the previous article. However that wasn't all I wrote. I was tired, let me get that one thing straight, but I'd also been going through some stuff.

When I look back on it now it seems silly, but unfortunately at the time I was emotionally stretched and in a state of despair over something that had happened, and being ridiculously sleepy as well, I ended up pouring my heart out. I just wanted an outlet, you know? In the morning though, something odd happened which was either a huge coincidence or it wasn't; I'll probably never know since not even the server logs helped me figure that one out. But the thing that happened reversed my feeling of despair that I'd been having for just over two weeks at that point, and it made me realise what I'd written was a bit mushy and didn't really fit in with the theme of this site (me moaning about tech).

So I deleted it, and then posted the follow-up article mentioning why I'd deleted it, in case people (or rather someone in particular) had read it and wondered why I'd deleted it. I mentioned that I didn't regret writing what I wrote (and I still don't), just that as I say here; it got removed because I didn't feel it fit with the overall theme of this site.

The only reason I'm bringing it up again now is because it's going to lead into an explanation about this site and upcoming lack of activity from me. The thing is, the last few months for me have been rather stressful, and the last few weeks in particular have really taken a toll on my own peace of mind. I'm going through some unusual circumstances; things I wasn't expecting to happen by any stretch of the imagination, and some of those things were not good and they happened at completely the wrong time which buggered certain other things up that I really wish had gone smoothly. I have a job which isn't great, but it pays the bills and allowed me to meet new people, and needless to say one of them had a profound impact on me and my outlook on life. I don't know if that person will continue to be there in my life or not, I hope they will of course but the future is uncertain, and that in itself is causing me a great deal of emotional stress.

Also, although my initial feeling of despair was reversed by that event I mentioned occurring, some weeks have since passed and I'm finding myself dipping in and out of upset because I just don't know what's going on most of the time. The confusion is killing me. Meanwhile, I am going through a personal, betterment, I suppose you could say. I was influenced to be a better person because of this bright young light that came into my darkness. But it does mean I've got a lot on my plate to deal with now; I've been considerably overloaded lately along with the confusion, and it's just difficult to find time or the inclination to write about anything vaguely interesting here. I've gone for months without writing anything before but this time, it could end up being that I don't write anything here for a long, long time.

Then again I might find one day I have something interesting to put up and I will. I just don't know what the future holds for now. So if you've shown up here by chance and you see the date of this article and it's dated something long ago like 6 months (or more), and nothing new has been posted here, then I apologise, but unfortunately life must still be getting in the way.

The short version is, I will be back, I just don't know when.

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